Will the Grinch steal Christmas?

We don't have good luck with visas. If we believed in karma, we would have reason to search our past lives for wrongdoing. If we were strict Seussians, we would look up to the peak above Whoville with a suspicious eye. In 2006, when we were first planning to come to the UK, the envelope with our visa applications came open in the mail and our passports fell out. Mine was recovered, but for Julia's we had to fly to Chicago for a one-day emergency passport application. In 2009, we moved back to the UK from Germany and four days later, just after having unpacked the last box, we got the news that my visa would be denied until I finished my thesis - a revelation that led to an emergency move back to the US and a summer of scrambling (including this memorable time).

Now we have reason to take up again our lamentation. At the moment, Naomi's passport is with the UK Border Agency, to whom we sent it over a month ago. Based on projected processing times, we should have received it back this past week. But, as we now learn, they have been inundated with other visa applications, and the prospects of receiving her visa before we fly this Friday are slim. Why not fly without the visa? Well, the visa goes in her passport which is firmly in the government's possession at the moment. Why not simply cancel the application and submit another from US soil? Well, there's a ten to fifteen day processing time for cancelled applications, of course - not to mention that you'll then need to pay the not-insubstantial application fee again. What then is to be done? As far as we can tell, it's a three step process:

Step 1: cry, yell, moan.

Step 2: write a 'plea for compassion' begging the UK government to turn with mercy upon these their servants and grace us with a humble visa; fax this to the number extorted from the 5th operator on the final call to the UK visa help centre.

Step 3: pray, followed by holding hands around an empty Christmas tree, humming to each other, looking to our own little Lucy-Lou to fill our hearts with cheer (and keeping one eye firmly open for the sled to come barreling down the mountain, laden with visas).